Being Fear-less

Behind the charming smiles, enchanted eyes and confident amble, lies the truth. The truth to why those smiles were fake. The truth to why those eyes had to cry themselves to sleep through restless nights. The truth to it all.

The fact is she’s scared.

Scared of:

•  Not passing exams
•  Not being accepted to universities
•  Not being successful
•   Not being a daughter worth being proud of
•   Not being a good friend
•   Not being a good girlfriend
•  Not a being good enough person

Let’s face it we all have such feelings at some point in our lives. We feel that we’re not going to be good enough to withstand the curve balls life throws at us. We feel that we’re not perfect enough to be noticed. We break promises. We destroy hearts and friendships. We try and try and in the end we sometimes fail or don’t get as expected. We feel helpless at times and simply want to give it all up. 

 Look into the future and she sits in her room reflecting on the memories she wished she had. As she’s studying and thinking of the future rather than enjoying the moments of being a kid, she misses her chance. All that’s left are “what ifs”Biting her nails, panicking in the exams, twitching in the examination room, she thinks of the path that has brought her here. Oh, such a dull road.

Coming to terms that I am afraid of the upcoming years of my life, I talked to a close friend. He told me I’m an idiot. Fact is I was being and idiot. I’m a kid who needs to enjoy my life as it comes. I can plan my life, just not the entire thing. Make sense right?  Obviously I insisted I needed some form of direction for my life. His comeback was to have mini goals and once those are accomplished plan some more. 

 -Amethyst