People try their best to forget the horrible events they encountered in the past. Sadly, as time goes by reality kicks in and the incidents you thought you had “come to terms with” lashes out at you. The emotions felt are somewhat like being in a party with loud music but with a massive headache that just causes more irritability by the second.Unexpected, the curtains come up and it’s like I’m reliving those horrible moments with you in sight.
Is it my fault, then why do I feel like I am?
Is it because that constantly behind my back you whisper it, that I Am to blame but your too weak to hurt me directly. Hence you provoke me by hurting the only person I have, the only one I can trust, the only one I could probably ever love.With my world in your palms you pretend to be God and play me like a puppet.
Why must your harsh voice echo in my mind?
Even though years upon years have passed your tone of voice on that day has scared me for eternity. I wonder how you live with yourself. Getting up each morning waking up next to your “family” and thinking all’s well. You went through a rough time as well but shouldn’t you have been the bigger person to go down the right part? Who am I to judge You. For all I know I could be your reflection in time to come.
Faking it
I get up each morning and say thanks I’m still with her and that I am her rock and she’s mine. Pretend that none of the sort had ever occurred. “It was all just a dream” I try to convince myself.
As the hot water drops on my face the memories of soaking her wounds with that same steaming water infiltrates my mind. Unfortunately, some water sneaks out from my eyes and I wipe them away. Off to school with cloths on my back and a big fake smile that implies I’m fine.
No one knows what another person goes through because each individual is unique. They hurt differently as well as heal. However only that individual knows his/her true baggage…
-Amethyst
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